If you’re a daughter or a mom I’m sure that you’’ll agree with me that the fair majority of mom’s and daughter’s have some kind of a “love/hate” relationship going. It’s just a law of nature. I’ll admit that I truly have that type of relationship with my mom. There have been times and still are when she was and/or is my hero and everything that I want to be. And times when she is not on the top of my list and there’s no way I want to be like her.
But, no matter where we were in our relationship my mom is the one that has always been clued in on what is going on in my life. When I was in high school my mom worked at my school. Most kids would’ve been totally embarrassed to have their mom as a “hall monitor”. But, it never bothered me and I actually enjoyed having her there during the day. Yes, she knew some of my friends that I wish she didn’t know and at times I felt I was held to a higher level of expectation that the other students and not able to get away with some things but for some reason it really never occurred to me that I was supposed to be upset by her presence. She’s the one that after I got married and I couldn’t remember how to cook something or wanted to ask her why something didn’t turn out (like my failed Christmas cookies) I only had to pick up the phone. There were times that although I could remember I’d just call her to make her feel as if she was still needed for advice. She’s the one that when there was news about the kids or just general goings on in our lives that we would call and fill her and my dad in on what what happening. And they’re the ones that when there was an imminent move in our future they were the first to know outside of our dis. I’ve always found it difficult as a child and married adult not to tell her what was going on.
This past year, though, my mom was placed in a nursing home. There are times she’s with the moment and then there are times she’s not with the moment, which are more often than not. So, when our niece and her husband had their first baby and then we discovered that we are going to be grandparents for the first time it was strange and difficult to know that she really doesn’t have a clue that she has a new great-grandchild and another one on the way. With our son and daughter-in-laws move to CT and our move to TX what is equally strange and weird is to realize that for the first time in my life my mom doesn’t have a clue where we are or what we are doing.
It feels strange……